AbsolutionReview: Event

I was at the 3rd Absolution last night, and I am sad to say all the hard work that went into last month's Absolution was wasted.

Last month cerberus and I had taken great time to explain why lighting, spacing of equipment and alike was really important, but all this was ignored this month by the organisers.

We arrived just after 10 (it started at 8) the so called resident Domme was busy chatting and blocking the dungeon door (she was still doing the chatting but well away from the dungeon when we left). The lighting was too low to play safely and the equipment was badly laid out (what equipment was around was also mostly unsafe or unusable or just being used as chairs).

We were the only ones to play in the time we attended, and this was interrupted due to bad etiquette. The organisers have no leaflet letting the punters know the etiquette rules, so this finished our scene for the night.

We thought we would go look in on the other side where the music and dancing was going on... stood around and even sat a while (after looking for somewhere that was not soaked in drink or filthy dirty). We both looked bored as hell as we are not disco people but seasoned BDSM'rs, so after just a little over an hour and a half we left feeling very disheartened.

For myself it's a long drive to MK and to keep going to a place to give support that is not listened to or even cared about I now feel it's all time wasted. Such a shame as it's obvious that MK needs a venue that can give players and clubbers a place to go and have fun, but I would not recommend this venue if you wanted to play with your sub. If you like to shout to have a conversation or watch glasses being broken or even spot the jean wearing wallys who are only there to stare (at us perverts) then this might be the place for you.

If only the organisers would listen to some common sense instead of just wanting to line their pockets this could be a good place to go.

The upside to this was most of the staff did dress up this time, and most of the customers had made an effort (was nice to see the maid trying to help clean up the broken beer glass in the middle of the floor... nice arse by the way ;) ).

As we left we looked to see if anyone was using the equipment and no one was, all the people who was stood in the dungeon area where just chatting and drinking no play was to be seen anywhere.

We left by the back door and as we did cerberus said "I don't think anyone will play there tonight. It's a shame because last month it looked like it was getting better, we had so many playing, but it's taken a step back and not done what it was meant to do and get better."

I won't be visiting this venue again.

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Specific recommendations?#1

You seem to have quite definite ideas about what the club should be like - perhaps you could give us more details about what your recommendations for the future would be (you mentioned lighting for instance)?

Your comments are all about the BDSM aspect of the club, whereas I've always regarded Absolution as leaning more towards the fetish side of things - hopefully we'll see some comments from the shiny clothes and dancefloor crowd addressing that side of the event.

I think any club in this area has a problem in that the big fetish events in London are within reach, the BDSM events at Ceasars near Coventry are extremely well known and popular, and there is a swingers' venue in Dunstable/Luton, so a club trying to cater to any one of these markets has established competition - in two cases, very well established. I get the feeling Absolution is therefore aiming for more of a 'bit of everything' night, rather than aiming to be the best place in the country for any one aspect of a fetish/BDSM party.

I know the Absolution team read the site, so hopefully we'll get some useful feedback from them, as well as some good suggestions for them to bear in mind...


I'm one of the admins here on ukfetish.info...
Which doesn't make anything I say any more likely to make sense.

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info reply to Denny#2

Hi Denny
I have had a good think on your reply and hmmmmm I think you have missed the point.
You think I have definite ideas on what a club should be like, and yes like most people I do have ideas on the way fetish nights/clubs should be.
First if its a fetish night/club I would expect it to be a balanced program for both music lovers and people who want to play, the music lovers seem to be catered for but the BDSM side of it is greatly lacking.
I speak to many people both at Absolution and all over the internet world, those who I have spoken to who are within the M/K catchment area have said they want a mixed club where both dancers and players alike can feel happy side by side, if Absolution is just aiming at the dance side of things it should say so, so the people who want to play as well as dance can find another club that will cater for this, though from what I can gather Milton Keynes is screaming out for a balanced club so that People don't have to travel miles to play and dance.
I also feel that so many in Milton Keynes need and want info and support to go forward within the BDSM scene, several people I have spoken to say workshops on Flogging and Rope Bondage would be a wonderful thing, this I have voiced to cerberus who is friends with Tony and the other club organiser last month but with no feedback on the idea at all.
Not everyone wants to travel to Dunstable/Luton or London or Brum, and why should they? Maybe a good idea would be to find out just what the scene in M/K really needs and try to cater for that?
You said you see Absolution as 'a bit of everything night' well from mine and some others views its only a disco with 2 many thinking its a pick up joint, with no real structure or help or advice ... is this what we want to show the newbies in the scene that fetish and BDSM are all about?
If the 3rd Absolution was at the same standard as the 2nd or had progressed forward then I might have had a different view, till this happens with grate sadness I must say that its taken a massive step backwards and is not helping the (scene)(newbies) or players in any way at all.
Advice to the Absolution crew is still the same, lighting is an issue, equipment needs to be replaced with stuff that's safe and usable, a leaflet on etiquette is needed on entrance, the cloakroom area needs to be kept clear of chatters, and a good res Domme needs to be put in place, crew need to monitor safety all night (not just sit around chatting) it needs to be cleaned and chairs/ashtrays need to be more visible also somewhere to place your kit when you play so its not getting damaged by dirt and drink, support with workshops and info advice sheets.
Those are just the basic things needed to bring Absolution up to balance, till then ... good dancing (around broken glass) nice place to sit if you want your clothes full of drink, and well the only reason so many filled the play area (this month) was to talk because they could not speak anywhere else :(.

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Oh I forgot, if you wish to have more info or support in the BDSM scene or just want to see more of what people think of Absolution and other stuff or even find out where the munch for Milton Keynes is then visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MKPowerX/

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In defence of Absolution and the Organisers#4

Red, sorry to hear you didn't have a good night on Friday, but I have to defend Tony and Lenny in trying to provide a night locally which we WILL support despite it not being totally BDSM.

For Ophelia and I it was through this night that we were introduced to the scene, and we have gone on to other locations which we enjoy for differing reasons.

We went along to support the efforts of the Organisers, they are battling with the fact that renovations are ongoing at PP as well as having difficulty in being able to adopt a strict dress code.

Bear in mind that the club is advertised as a Fetish Night, and does provide a limited set of dungeon furniture. This does not make it A BDSM event. We didn't expect to play as we felt that we would be the object of countless vanilla dressed customers who were only there to take the piss. We were pleasantly suprised !

We arrived early at around 10pm, and got chatting to a guy who'd we'd met the previous week at Rapture, the renovations were an improvement on the last time we attended, with at least a place to sit,( yes it did get covered in drink)- but were pleased to see that more people had made an effort to dress.

The dungeon is too small, Tony knows this, but this should be rectified by next month, when will be a totally seperate area away from dance floors .. the music is too loud ,and of the wrong type for our taste in playing .. but he is trying to get a balance ...

As regards playing .. Ophelia played and got me floating quite nicely thank you . ... and also scened with another who seemed to enjoy the experience. Other friends of ours had a bad scene and this was down to poor etiquette, so the idea of a flyer on the door explaining it would be good ...

We chatted to the Pro Domme, and other bdsm'ers that we knew .. and had a better night than expected ...

Don't write it off but it will never become Caesars ..

But at least for us its a cheap and sociable night out


Davey ( Goldenwulf/goldenwulf )

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Advice for the MK scene?#5

Red .. hello .. I dont know who you are or whether we have met. However you have expressed concern that the people in the Milton Keynes area are in need of advice. You seem to be aware of the MKPowerX site on Yahoo, and therefore you must be aware that there is a fairly established scene here in Milton Keynes, with a munch which has been running for some 18 months and which is growing in the number of attendees. Among its members are some of the more well known and experienced members of the scene. goldenwulf and I do not count ourselves as particularly experienced having only been into things for a couple of years. However we do regularly attend Ceasars and have been to BDSM courses at The Edge and we are well read on scene subjects.

We have never expected much BDSM at Absolution which is somewhere we go to socialise. Having said that, as gw has pointed out in his post, we did have a good play on Friday night. I have to agree with you about etiquette, it was disgraceful and people should be made aware of what is expected from their behaviour. Some of the worst etiquette came from the 'Pro-Domme' who (uninvited)stroked gw's bum with a hand holding a lighted cigarette, I only just managed to avoid knocking the lighted end off with my flogger! I also resented her touching him intimately and shoving her bared breasts into his face (even though he says he didnt notice ... yeah, right!) No Pro-Domme would behave in this way. However I wasnt about to make a fuss at the time.

That's all the moans I have about the evening though. It was a good social occasion for those of us who supported the event last year and will continue to do so.

Oph :)

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sad :(#6


Well everyone is entitled to an opinion and I wrote what I felt.
It seems some of my concerns are valid by what the replies have been so far, I have asked LadyP if I can post her review that's on the site I listed before, I am sorry if anyone was offended but I am known for being truthful and honest and I wont change that.
M/K has a lot of catching up 2 do with the rest of the country (as pointed out to me by people who live there) and I hope that happens real soon.
I will point out that I have defended Absolution for the previous 2 events to many who had a moan in my direction (just a shame they didn't tell Lenny or Tony how they felt) I also defended Absolution on the MKpowerX, I cant keep defending something that is not showing improvement or care to ALL the people who are going (everyone deserves to have a good time not just the dancer/clubbers as we all pay the same fee at the door).
I hope all the points that have been raised re; drink spilt, dirty,etiquette the res Domme etc is listened to, this is the only way Absolution will get better for the Milton Keynes scene.

Standing up and being counted is only the 1st step in the right direction ;)

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In Defence of Milton Keynes#9

I would just like to voice my support for the group in Milton Keynes that I know and am a (distant)memeber of. They are a very supportive group of people with varying levels of experience, who provide a very comprehensive support network for those in the group. They have looked after and nurtured many newcomers both to the area and to BDSM. From those that I have met, and those that I know by mailings and postings, I would conclude that they certainly DO know what they are doing.
Kind regards

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reply to reply#14

It is hard to find a happy balance between BDSM and dance music. We know that the Dungeon area is small, but finding the right venue in MK is hard. There are always going to be people that don't like this or that, but you cant please all the people etc etc. Etiqutte leaflets would have been available but due to other issues they were not. Hopefully will be next time.

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Specific Recommendations#13

Denny I can only agree with the gist of what you have said. Absolution was never a night to compete with any of the big clubs but to provide a missing service in the area. We set it up as a fetish night rather then a swingers or BDSM although both are most welcome as you know. Some people use this night as a way to get used to the scene and then as a stepping stone to the larger clubs. A lot of the locals use it as a night where they can wear their pvc/rubber gear knowing that they wont get any snide comments from the beeer boy brigade.

Unfortunately our Strict Dress Code night has been put back by a month because the building work on the venue is running behind but at least we know that Novembers night will be Strict.

Keep up th egood work

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Last month's event#7

This was contributed as a review of last month's event, but was so brief that I didn't post it. However, I thought it was worth adding to the comments here... Denny

Review: Event
By Anonymous on Mon 2 Sep 2002 at 20:39

Another enjoyable night at Absolution
However they need to enforce the dress code.
A couple of us felt a bit out of place at times in our fetish gear especially when remarks from the jeans and tee shirt brigade were overheard. Lets get back to the great club it used to be so we can let it all hang out!

I'm one of the admins here on ukfetish.info...
Which doesn't make anything I say any more likely to make sense.

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By LadyP cut and pasted with her permission#8

Absolution is more like an adult fancy dress party .For many of the punters its a chance to drop an E and enjoy hard house music .
The volume was so loud ,anything else was impossible!
As the venue is a gay club ,the regular punters are allowed to come in street clothes .
There were also vanilla guys who thought I'd come there cos i wanted to' shag someone ' .
The only place where conversation was possible was the loo .
I wished i'd left my heels at home ,as there were so many hazards to trip over .

As far as playing is concerned , its far better to make the trip to a serious players club , where etiquette means something ,and there are helpful staff on hand .

If you want a night of sleaze and E's , then absolution is for you .

Cut and pasted with kind permission from Lady penelope posted in the MKPowerX

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July review#24

For those that missed it, there was a review of the first 'comeback' event (in July) posted to this site... click here to read it.


I'm one of the admins here on ukfetish.info...
Which doesn't make anything I say any more likely to make sense.

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Milton Keynes scene#10

I know that there was a yahoo club/group for MK BDSM, but am unable to locate it on-line, and was wondering if anyone knows the site address.

Also, I only recently heard that Absolution had returned to Milton Keynes,with a fixed location, and that there was no dress code for the first 3 events, which unfortuneately for me have already happened. I understand that they will be enforcing a dress-code for future events, however I would like to know just what the dress-code requirements are, if anyone knows. The reason for this is so I know for certain what I can and can not get away with, exspecially since everyone has their own idea of what fetish gear is.

Thank you.

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Thanks for your comment. The strict dress code will be enforced for the November night. We will not let people in if they are dressed in jeans and Tshirts, normal clothes and club wear. PVC, Rubber, Uniforms, Leather, Fantasy gear is well acceptable. Hope that answers your queries

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Milton Keynes site#18

its on Yahoo groups search for MKPlayers - alternatively Denny may have my email ..i'm happy for him to pass it on to you



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On answer 3 on this posting is a direct link to UKPowerX that is the one you are looking for, for Milton Keynes munches etc.

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We had a similar experience at Spank in Bristol last week. The club didn't live up to the blurb on it's web site: it seemed to be a single-handed effort and though everyone adhered to the dress code the atmosphere was definitely not one we, or apparently anyone, wanted to play in. The music was so loud you couldn't hear yourself think and the furniture - what little there was of it - was being used for seating. We left at eleven, so I can't say whether it got better as the night wore on (I suspect not) but we couldn't stand the thought of another three hours there. It is actually advertised as 'fetish' and there seemed to be plenty of people enjoying themselves just showing off their pervy clothes (they could have done away with the dance floor completely) but there were also a number of people who looked as though they would have liked to play. But it just isn't that sort of club!

We also had difficulty finding out about the event: the organiser is giving out the address of an out-of-date web site with an old address and unavailable phone number - so don't send off for tickets - you won't get 'em! I guess the guy was working very hard to put on the event. But it is NOT ON to give out information you KNOW is incorrect, especially when it involves sending cheques and your name/address to abandoned addresses where God knows who could get hold of them. We were very disappointed and won't be going back to Spank.

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Wow, what a harsh selection of comments. I am sorry that you feel the way you do and I am sorry that you had a bad experience, maybe it is better that you dont travel to our night if it makes you feel this way. I am confused however. We put the furniture where you suggested it should go and carried out the suggestions made to secure the loose furniture. As explained people do not arrive very early, most not until after 11. When you arrived there were only about thirty people there. We actually put an extra light in the dungeon so it was brighter then when you used it. We are not running a strict BDSM night and we are unable to run a strict dress code until the building work upstairs is carried out and then we will.

From about 11 till when I had to leave at around 2 the dungeon was used very much and our Domme was very busy. I think that she just works differently from you. When we started Absolution, we knew that we would not be in the same ball park as the clubs on the London scene, nor did we want to be. Absolution is there for the locals who like the scene that it is and for those that will find out what they like and will eventually become part of the London scene.

We had 7 broken glasses less than last time so you must have been standing in a bad place. The Venues staff did a brilliant job at mopping up all spillages. When you went I was asked by a few where the happy Cerberus was so perhaps again it was only you that looked bored. I don't know as I didn't see you then.

We were really pleased that you travelled such a long way. You were not the only ones.Once again I am stunned by your comment that we did not listen to your views. We did and we put into place what we could.

We were complimented by an older couple that regulary come to our nights on the fact that they could be in the dance area and have a conversation for most of the night.

As you well know we are unable to enforce a strict dress code until the building work on the venue is completed. The last few nights have been advertised as Fetish orientated and non-strict dress code(not a BDSM or Swingers bash). This means that people are let in from the regurlar venues customers that are upstairs. I do not have control on their entry but I do on their exit and anyone thyat is there just for the perv doesn't stay long.

How can you justify your pocket lining comment. You do not know how much we take and how much we spend on the night. I believe Cerberus knwos this. All profit that we make gets put back into the club one way or another. If we did I would not be piercing nor would Lenny be working.

The maid was taking the mick out of the cleaning staff.
Play did take place during the night and people left happy.

Perhaps that as you left you could have told me your views instead of just walking past. We both would have let you know what was going on and would have tried to resolve any other issues that you had.


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Hi Tony
I did say to cerberus that we should speak to you and he said 'leave it' as per normal cerberus wanted to be in control of what I said to you, I asked him time and time again to pass on messages now its obvious that hes not done that.
I am sorry if my review was harsh but I did tell cerberus I intended to do an honest review and he knew how it was going to be worded, I had spoken to Lenny last month when we went to help set up and advise, I can honestly say that cerberus was as dissapointed as I was when we left the other night( if he says otherwise now then hes not being truthfull).
If you also read the other postings the issues I raised was also felt re: the house Domme and spilt drinks and music etc.
I am sorry but I had not seen any changes when I last visited, no new stuff etc can you tell me how the money gets put back into Absolution to make it better ?
I wish you guys luck and I hope that Absolution changes to be a well balanced venue in the future.
I am sure with hard work this will be the case.

Standing up and being counted is only the 1st step in the right direction ;-)

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BDSM/Fetish clubs#20

Having read the numerous comments regrding the problems at Absolution and other BDSM/Fetish clubs, I really do wonder why organisers tend to put these two distinct target audiences together.
BDSMers are not necessarily heavily into fetish and the majority of people into fetish do not appear to be into BDSM. The only overlap I see is that both these groups do like to dress up for their chosen night out. Time and time again I hear of BDSM people having an unhappy night at BDSM/Fetish club, the answer is simple, if you are seriously into BDSM and want conditions to be just right for your play at a club, then go only to BDSM-specific clubs. I appreciate that because of the lack of serious BDSM clubs due to supply and demand, this might mean travelling some distance for some.
Even the more serious BDSM clubs seem to encourage yet another section of people into their clubs. Swingers are not generally welcomed by BDSM people at their clubs. Again there are a few BDSM people who swing and there are a few swingers who are into BDSM, however they are few and far between and the lack of acceptance of swingers in a BDSM environment tends to cause further complaints.
BDSM people who want serious play need conducive surroundings, it therfore follows that the vast majority will not be comfortable playing in clubs that play loud music and entertain the slightly more raucous behaviour associated with fetish nightclubbers.
Yes, there are SOME people who are into both BDSM and fetish and they, like Ophelia and goldenwulf, seem prepared to put up with intrusions on their BDSM play such as loud music, intrusions into play, broken glasses, spilt beer, poor lighting etc.
I can understand why clubs try to be all things to all people, obviously they have their overheads and need people through the doors. However, the end result is that the majority of at least one section, usually BDSMers, have a less than perfect evening. The fact is, that while club owners continue to produce functions which are aimed at what are essentially two seperate groups, there will continue to be complaints from some factions of these individual groups.


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the money at the moment is being put towards the cost of the room we can use as a dungeon areas refurbishment. We did bot make a vast sum on the night and quite a lot of the people downstairs were members of the PP and are able to come down (shortly this will not be the case)

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Lady Dominique......experience of Absolution#22

Hello Everyone,

Myself and Master Craig attended all three dates at Pink Punters.

We personally preferred the Dungeon layout from the first instance.

The music was always too loud for us (my ears are still ringing from Friday). In addition, I don't personally care for 4-to-the-floor as a backdrop to a BDSM evening (even if a synergy with fetishists and clubbers has to be created). It is just feedback but I personally prefer a little gothic / industrial music and there was none.

The masses of smoke create immense irritation to both the eyes and throat (I wear 2-weekly disposables for comfort). On the last two occasions, the smoke has trashed my lenses. My eyes are not usually sensitive. I am a DJ so when I say the music is too loud and there is too much smoke effect.......that really is saying something.

I was appalled by the leering and loud disruptive element amongst those in the area - is it possible that such people can be asked to leave the Dungeon area in future?

I am quite shy so I do find it difficult to approach people and accept that this is a barrier to me enjoying these evenings fully.

My heartfelt thanks go to the lovely girl with the long red hair (black corset on Friday/Pink bunny outfit at the August event). She has taken the time to approach and talk to me at each event. I believe she is part of the Absolution team but am not 100% sure. She has made me feel welcome.

For what it is worth, I would like to see:-

1) a leaflet on etiquette given at the door (just an A5 black and white sheet would do).
2) easy way of recognising who is part of Absolution team and who is not (so I know who to ask if I am unsure). Name Badges?
3) quieter music - if the playlist incorporated some more industrial / gothic music that would be even better
4) less smoke effect
5) Demonstrations - perhaps early in the evening where the resident Dom/me(s) actually introduce themselves and demonstrate a technique. A bit of interaction with onlookers would increase understanding and would perhaps help me, and others like me, to feel welcome.

Have you considered moving the night to a venue where you have more control over layouts? (what about 'the Irish Club in Midland Rd, Bedford? It has a huge ground level area - closed off from the main Irish Club Pub-area upstairs - with own access and, I understand is not used on a Friday).

I left at 2.30 am as my ears could take no more, my contacts were opaque (despite a number of 20-minute rests from the volume/smoke effect), and I felt there were too many drunken peeping toms with attitude in the dungeon area.

My regret is that I really wanted to get to know the red-haired girl better (that is my own fault for being too shy though :) ).

I was the large lady with the latex, zip-front vest, wedgey blonde hair, shaved at the back and sides (which were black with a line of red where it met the blonde), with a long thin plait. Just in case you are trying to place me.

Please do not react to my comments as criticism. I am just one viewpoint and I'm usually in the wrong so please do not take offence.

I know how hard it is to please any of the people any of the time at events (I work in the Ents Industry and get similar problems).

regards and best wishes

Lady Dominique

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Reply to Lady Dominique#25

Thanks for your comments which have been noted. I would like to address some of the points you raised.
The drunken element is normally ejected I personally removed two people. Etiquette leaflets were supposed to have been ready for this date but unfortunately I had problems but should be resolved next time. We did have the music quieter then last time but we will make an effort to turn it down even more at the next night. We will also try and sort out the smoke machine there was a problem with thte controller at the desk but hopefully it will be sorted out next time (I have the same problems with the smoke).
We are planning to have a new dungeon area open at the next night and only those dressed for the part and with the right attitude will be let in.
Lenny and I are either found wandering around sorting things on the entrance desk or in the cloakroom. We try and wander around and make sure that everyone is okay. November will see a new dress code policy and all the undesirables will not be allowed to enter.
As you both know we have looked at other sites but a) there is nothing in Milton Keynes and b) most people do not want to travel out of Milton KEynes.
Thanks you for your continued support.


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A good night!#23

I personally had a rather good night, but then again I understand the restrictions that Len and Tony are working under at the moment and when it becomes a closed event I know it will be even better! I found the venue good, the people friendly and the music spot on. Aboslution is basically starting out again after a long break so we should give it a chance to grow again and support it all we can.

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Reply to Bomber#26

Bomber, thanks for the comments and I am glad that people do know that we are trying hard to give a good night out.


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Well as much as my 1st posting on this opened up Pandora's box it looks like it was all worth it.

Some good feedback has happened (this was what I intended by posting in the 1st place), and I hope that Absolution gets the right balance over the coming months.

My posting was my honest feelings on my last visit, and it looks like some of my feelings where not alone.

I may well come back to M/K and Absolution next year just to see how its progressed and you never know what friends of mine might visit before that, but for now I am doing the Brum and Bristol and London scene (also making exotic flogger's) and wont have the time this year.

So good luck Tony and Lenny and Absolution.


Standing up and being counted is only the 1st step in the right direction ;-)

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