Recently i have been pondering and discussing the subject of endorphins and 'flying', stimulated in part by a post written by a subby sister of mine who was writing about sub drop but mentioned that in the beginning it was not unusual for her to fly but that as time passed it seemed to take more to go as deep as in the early days. The question in effect was do you have to keep going further and further, harder and longer to reach deep subspace.

In terms of what is referred to as 'play' i guess i have always enjoyed the sensations that come from floggers and other such toys but it was only (comparatively) recently that i experienced 'flying' and came to understand what others had been raving about all this time. Looking back on the occasions that i have flown i think part of the package has been situational, for example, the first time Mistress and i played publicly and the first time a quirt was used on me. The only other thing i can pinpoint is that it usually involves pushing around or just beyond my limits (i'm daydreaming right now about a wonderful session where Mistress pushed me very hard with her crop, which prior to that session i had, in many respects, feared).

We have also encountered sessions where i know that Mistress has felt frustrated that she has been unable to take me to 'fluffy cloud land' despite beating me to the point of Her exhaustion. A case in point would be last Friday at our local D/s club where having cuffed me naked to a whipping frame Mistress proceeded to dole out all the punishment strokes i had accumulated over the past few weeks, a grand total of 270. Mistress used a variety of toys including various canes, crops and whips and having reached the total my ass was fire engine red and i was thoroughly enjoying the scene and the sensations but i wasn't flying as such. i don't think Mistress was shocked when having reached the 270 point i begged her not to stop but i did sense a kind of 'just how much does it take to push my slave's buttons' question forming in her mind. On my own mind has been the question 'just how much of a pain slut am i?'. I often joke with scene friends that i'm not a pain slut at all, but frankly all evidence points to the contrary.

So i can totally understand wondering about having to keep going further and further. It has crossed my mind and i know for sure it has crossed LadyLinda's mind as well.

We have been looking at higher end toys like singletails and have ordered a sjambok from a well known whipmaker here in the UK. The theory that Mistress is working on is that she needs toys which have the most bang for the least physical effort on Her part. For my part i am in total agreement as i never want Her to reach a point where sceneing me feels like a chore because of the effort involved. The other thing that Mistress tends to do nowadays is employ relentlessness with whatever toy she is wielding (after i have been suitably warmed up).i even volunteered recently to be a demo bunny for a bullwhip display to see if that was a toy we should look at in the future. Sadly, depending on your point of view, i found that to be just too much for me too handle.

One response to this was that being 'suitably warmed up' may also be holding back that flying feeling. The suggestion was that whilst a long warm up was lovely and yummy, having done so EVERYTHING, no matter how far the Top went, was lovely and yummy. When the Top stopped warming up so much it helped the sub get a really spacy feeling very quickly. But also, emotionally there was something about not being coddled, about just hauling off, that really worked for them. i will suggest to Mistress, at the appropriate time without trying to direct or top from the bottom, that She try this.

Another suggestion is 'newness' itself is a very strong reaction trigger. There were two points of view on this. One was, sadly, we can't keep making things new once they aren't new. The other was that this is where the 'things-you-might-do-but-haven't-yet' come in. Part of what keeps things hot is imagining what else you might do, and then doing 'some' but not all of them. That keeps new things right over the horizon.

In this vein one thing on my mind is to explore and develop other dimensions of our D/s relationship in parallel with the sceneing. The unknown for me is whether drawing on a deeper well of submission within myself will help with the times when we 'play'. And in other areas we are still enthralled with my recent piercing and Mistress has a rather large strap-on dildo still sitting menacingly on the bed in the spare room. I have no idea whether these directions will work but i know one thing for sure... its going to be fun finding out <grin>.

Another thought at the back of my mind is something Mistress always uses as one of her soundbites about D/s - word to the effect of 'its not the destination but the journey that's important'. Maybe i'm being overly analytical (i can hear those saying 'no surprise there then') about one particular destination of D/s from a subs point of view i.e. 'flying'. An extension of this thought might be 'am i trying to hard to fly?'

The other things that i want to try is something that Claudia Varrin, author of 'The Art of Sensual Female Dominance' reminded me of recently when she talked a couple of times about conditioning. This is something Mistress used to do when we were first together and i was conditioned with a word to become aroused. i wonder if there is a similar technique that could be applied in terms of commencing a drop into subspace.

Anyway.... i've rambled quite enough for a bleak Friday morning and i need to get some work done.

Hugzzzzzzzzzz

elliott
owned, loved and pierced by LadyLinda