Fake Dommes and online advertsOpinion/Rant

It is so difficult to meet genuine people in the Scene - we all know that and amongst the thousands of wannabes, timewasters and photo-collectors who claim to be genuine occasionally we find that all too rare Dominant or submissive.

I thought that I had found that special Domme this week. Tired, fed up and totally demoralised from writing endless letters and emails, of sending out photos and, well, simply wasting weeks of my life trying to find a Dominant female or couple I decided, about 3 weeks ago, to bombard every advert from a Dominant female or couple in every contact magazine, fetish personals web site, etc, that I saw.

I thought it had paid dividend this week when I got a reply to an ad that I had seen on bondage.com. It was from, supposedly, a Dominant couple in London where the female was 100% Domme and the male switch - apparently.

I wrote a long, detailed email to them and, in return, I got a similar reply from them stating how much they were into waxing, spankings, whippings, lots of bondage, electrical toys and so, so many things that they liked doing to sub TVs and females. They told me in detail how they would dominate me and how thigns would proceed upon meeting. How nice it was to get such a reply instead of just 'send us a picture...'

A few emails later and phone numbers were exchanged... We talked on the phone and, as things seemed to click, we decided to meet up on Saturday night. So, after a 4 hour and 220 mile drive I arived at the home of this Couple. Guess what...

Inside their house they had another couple there - a male Dom and a female sub. After chatting for an hour the male Dom took BOTH females upstairs to their playroom and began dominating them. My so-called Domme - the woman who had written to me at great lenght about how Domme she was - was now being tied up, whipped, punished and groped as a submissive.

Can you imagine how fed up, annoyed and downright miserable I felt at this? I had been lied to and even now, as I write, I feel so bloody angry. I felt and feel betrayed.

The reality is that they simply wanted a TV to play with and, when I made it clear that I could only submit to a Domme or a Couple with a Domme present, the foursome got quite annoyed and basically, rudely, could not wait to get me out of their house. It was 'drink up and go' which I, admittedly, wanted to do but these people were just so cold and rude because they were not getting a TV to play with along with their two female submissives.

Even as I write this I cannot work out why on earth a sub woman who have the nerve, or need, to adverise as a pretend Domme in order to meet other females and TVs.

During my 4 hour drive home I thought about it a great deal and now, many hours later, I just feel that yet again I have had the misfortune to come across pathetic timewasters and not the few, rare genuine people who do exist and who will hopefully understand my anger and frustration at this meeting.

Comment on this articlePrint version

<<< A personal journey into chastity

Submission >>>

as a newbie dominant female i am sympathetic to your situation.
maybe arrange a meeting on neutral ground first.
there are so many permutations in the scene......so maybe check things out a little more first.
i have had many replies to my advert ........with varying contents.
dont get despondent,all the best

Reply to this comment


Can you please help me? There is a fetish which I have'nt tried yet, but I want to! I imagine myself kneeling down before a women, and then of drinking her pee!!!
I want to experience this so badly! I am very kinky, and have a pornographic mind! Please help me experience this - I'm scared that I will never get the chance!
I live in the leeds area - Pontefract! I am gentle, and quiet natured, and I am highly imaginative in the matters of 'erotism'.

Hope to hear from ya soon!

Love, Erotic2000@aol.com

Reply to this comment
Re: advertising#6

hi im looking for my first dom female i would like you to consider to be my dom female please reply with answer to phil_mc_2002@yahoo.co.uk

Reply to this comment

I read the main article above with interest and sympathy.

I've been lucky in my time, in that I've always spotted the time wasters early on.

Currently single, I've oft times dispaired of finding a partner for a long term relationship, that special female, who not only is dominant, but who can be a friend, a lover, and more importantly a human being. I'm not looking for perfection mind - after all we all have flaws. In that dispair, I have in the past posted adverts all over the place on the net, I've replied to adverts posted over the net, and still I get no where.

I recently had occassion to do some thinking. Of all the relationships or potential relationships I've had - only one (my first) came from adverts. The few times luck has given me a break, have been with people I've got to know as friends first, either online, or at munches/parties.

I asked myself - "Why is this?" and the answer I came up with is this:

By getting to know each other as friends, we have gotten to know each other as human beings, and providing we have always been truthful, honest and open with each other, then we know each other's flaws, etc. When things have gone further and we've agreed to meet potentially as play partners, then it's because we know each other, respect each other, and accept each other and each others flaws as being part of what makes up the whole of us.

Adverts very much however are used as a form of boasting, a way to impress the other person enough, especially from single male submissive crossdressers like myself, that the person reading the advert should communicate with me, and not any of the other 100's of advertisers out there. The present a false image, either directly in the advert, or in the communcation leading from the advert, as the aim of that communication is to lead into a meet. A meet that has come from talking openly and honestly as friends, initially without that view though, has none of the trying to impress the other person though.

It will probably take longer to meet Miss Right using my method, but do I care? not really now, I may still post an advert here and there once in a while, but these days, I prefer to start talking to someone with the hope of meeting a friend, then starting to talk to someone with the hope of meeting a partner. There is a Miss Right out there for me somewhere, our paths have just yet to cross.

Hope that makes some sense.... :)


Reply to this comment
In reply to Fake Dommes.#3

I feel so sorry that you had to endure this form of introduction to the scene. please put it away in its place in the bad expereince box and move on :)

In my not so humble opinion, I find it odd that a Domme would need to advertise in the first place.

As for arriving at a strangers home, willing and ready to part with your most special gift ????? big mistake.

Use chatrooms, attend munches, whatever it takes to meet (FIRST AND FOREMOST) freinds, that you will learn to trust and respect before you enter any kind of play.
85 % of people in the scene are wonderful, the rest ? well now u know !

Good luck


Reply to this comment
Re: In reply to Fake Dommes.#8

Hello Ms DuchyX...i am alann....remember me? just googled Your nick to see if i could find You!

Reply to this comment

i totally agree, i am not a tv, but i really want a smoker, not just a woman who smokes, but who is willing to interweave that into sex etc, someone who understands that to me, watching her smoke intamatly is better than any blow job i could ever have, i believe its all about honesty, and i praise you for going out and getting what you want, i am just sorry it turned out bad, listen, i will swap you, if you get any genuine smoke fetish women talkin to you, send em my way, and if i get what your after, i will too, and good luck in the future, dont give up, remember, us fetishits are the most interesting people yo be:) i dunno if this is public, i stumbled upon this site, so heres my mail, jimboon2000@yahoo.co.uk

Reply to this comment
Re: Fake Dommes and online adverts#7

I sympathise, I've been trying, unsucessfully so far, to get into the scene. I know no one that is into BDSM and trying to meet people is difficult. I live in Aberdeen and as far as I'm aware theres nothing up here, so apart from going to Edinburgh/Glasgow clubs on my own in the hope of meeting people, there's Bondage.com. But people seem very stand offish when I try to make contact, ok maybe I don't know all the etiquette as yet, but I'm approaching people through their ads in a polite and respectful manner, < none of thie 'hey, bitch email back' > I suppose people must get a load of crap emails via the site but I wish people were a bit more open to newbies like me.


Reply to this comment

viagra online, 2886,

Reply to this comment

tramadol ultram, cpbuprlxbr,

Reply to this comment
cheap ultram#34

roaccutane, hlifo,

Reply to this comment

zoloft side effects, dlknwcq,

Reply to this comment

prozac, %P,

Reply to this comment

buy xenical, wwtfujhvujs,

Reply to this comment
buy acomplia#28

soma bay, rofqpdricfy,

Reply to this comment
cheap ultram#12

prozak, tarlajf,

Reply to this comment
cheap soma#13

buy cialis, =[,

Reply to this comment
buy xenical#14

accutane, >:OOO,

Reply to this comment

abana, 8PPP,

Reply to this comment

acomplia, 149769,

Reply to this comment

abilify, qons,

Reply to this comment
tramadol medication#18

prozac buy, djdlmutpbgu,

Reply to this comment

cialis, cpebegjn,

Reply to this comment

xenical, agbm,

Reply to this comment

accupril, 453851116269,

Reply to this comment
ultram er#22

prosac, 6233,

Reply to this comment

soft cialis, 8)),

Reply to this comment

phentrimine, sbfndzz,

Reply to this comment

soma online, 129956,

Reply to this comment
soma bay#26

buy propecia, 0975009,

Reply to this comment

celexa, 715,

Reply to this comment
zocor side effects#10

discount viagra, 844624882, tramadol medication, guu, ultracet, 8-O, sulfamethoxazole trimethoprim, cenojlto, valtrex, %]],

Reply to this comment

zocor, =-[, trazodone, 018239611, cheap ultram, rmswyay, tramadol prescription, 78197360, sulfamethoxazole trimethoprim, :-O,

Reply to this comment

SDmSTC lfyrewzthlvc, [url=http://wmvtnfkixwct.com/]wmvtnfkixwct[/url], [link=http://kntxdgengzya.com/]kntxdgengzya[/link], http://oiopwhjrplnx.com/

Reply to this comment