I think it's the the space itself, and the quality of the gaze, and that create the issues. Large clubs provide different areas to play - you don't have to be in the dungeon. I often play on the dance floor - no problem with crowds of wankers there. Or we go off and find a dark corner. Smaller clubs (like The Fringe) suffer from no choice on where you play, and if the crowd is unsophisticated you'll get a lot of lonely voyeurs crowding in. So at smaller clubs it's best to avoid the 'beginners' parties and stick to nights like 'The Gate' that are for experienced players. What I find unpleasant are people standing too close, crowding and straining to see something, so their presence gets in your space. I like being watched - it's why I play in public - but no closer than about three metres - and no straining to see.

I paly in public occassionaly ....... PUBLIC ..... at a club .... ANYONE who attends such a PUBLIC place should KNOW
that anything they doo ..... will be seen , that is the whole idea.. its a PUBLIC place to go and meet others , watch others and in some cases play with others.

However there is a VERY big difference between watching a scene form a safe distance .... out of the way of the whip ..... (or the cat .. or the cane) and standing so close to a couple playing that if one steps back they tread on your toes...... or worse get hit with the back swing from a flogger.

People watching scenes should if they wish to continue to be allowed to do so , should respect the space of the people playing..... No LOUD remarks, no raucous comments ... no offers of assitance.... NO encroachment..
and worst of all no wanking ......

Its this kind of behaviour which makes people more wary about attending PUBLIC events , and more likely to attend private ones where they know every one concerned , and where there is an admissions policy to their taste.
( ie ..... Players only or a defined mix of players and social).

I know my opinions get me in trouble a lot, but here goes:
(deep breath...)

If you play in public, people are going to *see*, and how close they stand to watch and how invasive they become are what can cause offence.

Now for the axe which i feel the need to grind every so often :)

If you are playing in public you should also respect those around you who may not want to watch.
I know that is not quite the issue here, but i feel it is important to make sure you are not doing it in an inappropriate place, causing an obstruction and so on.

As a general rule, if you are uncomfortable being watched, or uncomfortable witnessing, this should be made clear, and should be respected.

I think an interesting point to be made here is that a lot of sexual activity seems to take place in the 'chill-out' areas of clubs - after all, they are usually emptier, with lower lighting and more comfortable flat surfaces than the dancefloor (for instance)... so from the point of view of the people who want to play, they look like a good place for it...

However, from the point of view of someone who is finding the evening all a bit much, and has gone to sit in a chill-out area to rest, someone getting busy in the next seat probably won't help them clear their head any quicker, and could make them worse...

Someone suggested to me on IRC that clubs should put 'no sex in the chill-out area please' signs up - is this a good idea? And would people pay any attention to that kind of sign??

Regards,
Denny

It's bad enuff that people 'get offended' by watching other people naked. It's bad enuff that it's called 'indecent exposure' when done in public (I mean outside).

To start critisizing people for being naked in a private place is preposterous! If I go to a club, I expect there to be 100% adults there. I expect there to be sexual stuff happening. It's very easy to look elsewhere.

And wanking: Wanking is something every man does! Noone *forces* anyone to look at guys that wank. So what's the big deal?

I often wank in public Some of my stories can be found at this exhibitionism site.

I play in clubs quite a lot, and one of the things I hope for is an audience. It's very annoying when the people at the club decide they're too cool to come and watch, say, an attractive woman getting tied up and beaten.

Sure, standing too close in or interfering is bad, but watching is positively good. Especially if you like to play with exhibitionists.

What a joke! If you don't want to be watched then go home and play! Surely the whole point of playing in public is that you'll be watched! If you don't want to be watched then go home, or go to a club that has more private facilities (ie: doors that can be closed) and use them.

I agree that you don't want people crowding around and getting in your space so I expect people to keep a respectful distance. And I also expect them to be respectful. In my experience both these are mostly true and a dominant personality (ie: the person controlling the scene) shouldn't have any problem firmly indicating to people crossing the boundaries that their behaviour isn't acceptable. There should be staff in dungeon facilities that can assist with that if necessary and I would not hesitate to use them.

My slave d loves a crowd and I love showing her off to a crowd. That's why we go to fetish/sm clubs and play there. And we love people telling us how much they enjoyed the show! I also love watching other people play so it's just a perfect world for me!

M (and d)

Not at all

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