I hate clubs!Opinion/Rant

I have little faith in meeting a good partner on the internet but absolutely detest every fetish club I have been to! To qualify that, the bad elements massively out weigh the good for me. I am not an exhibitionist, in fact, I'm shy. The last thing I want when I meet someone who attracts me and may be interested in me, is to be scoped out by the many voyeuristic types. It is why many seem to be there and good luck to them - but providing them with wanking material makes my skin crawl.

I would probably be able to withstand this constant leering if I had trustworthy friends within the scene but sadly, so many people on the scene are in couples and let's face it, seeing people who they could never hope to compare with in the nilla world struggling to click with someone brings out the smugness in most of these.

So far I haven't found anywhere to go which has an unforced relaxed atmosphere. Everyone's pissed or coked up in clubs and besides the unappealing voyeurism, drunk people trip over ya! It's boring and dispiriting and the usual response to a posting like this is: go get loads more money -- and buy or rent the people I want to be with!

I am an artist (the skint variety!) and anyway, object to prostitution for myriad personal reasons. And what kind of experience holds value, which has commerce as its basis?

There is a cottage industry based on fleecing single males. OK, fine, its their money - if they want to patronise these gaffs, who hurts? But who puts anything back? Pay a mint to hang out in silly costumes I hate, with a fixed grin my only defence against the shallow scene-goers? Noooo, I don't think so...

So, if you have been around longer than me and have the knowledge to help me retain my sanity, please let me know WHAT SHALL I DO?!

End of rant, thanks for reading ;)

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I'd suggest you try munches, if what you want is to meet other people with fetish/BDSM interests.

Personally I enjoy clubs, but then I like dance music, and am both exhibitionist and voyeur :)

I'm one of the admins here on ukfetish.info...
Which doesn't make anything I say any more likely to make sense.

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Re: I hate clubs!#2

You dont say where you are, and what clubs you have been to , maybe a quick check before you go to check that your expectations of the venue/club match those what the club offers ....... You dont say if you are looking for a dance event, a fetish event or a BDSM event ...... are you comfortable in larger or smaller venues - are you looking to meet people, socialise, play or dance?
Not all clubs suit all tastes .......If you tell us what you are looking for, maybe someone will have some suggestions for you .........

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Re: Re: I hate clubs!#3

I am the guy who posted originally. I am looking to meet someone but at 40 I have outgrown clubs, I started clubbing when I was 15 and now they mostly do precious little for me, even though I work within the music arena. I prefer to dance to other genres than House and don't see any parallel between that and meeting a fetish-oriented partner.
I don't want to play in public but I am far from being a wallflower. Also, I have never got into the dressing up thing. I have done it in the past and treasure the memory but costume is just not my thing.
I read that London is Europe's capital in fetish terms so I was hoping to find somewhere people can go and be themselves - I don't mind being vetted if its to ensure the security of all who attend this imaginary Shangri-La. What I find difficult is the expecation on the part of club-runners and their cohorts that we are all happy to fall in line with what their vision of the fetish scene should be. I don't believe its true. I think others must feel as I do but fear the type of existence I am forced to lead, that of a non-scene fetishist.
I want to meet a woman, I didn't miss out on the joys of adolescence and have no need to live them out 20 years later. (My only other friends who are half-way regular clubbers are in their early 20's!)
Is there a decent bar somewhere I haven't heard about?

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Re: Re: Re: I hate clubs!#4

Like it or not you do have to appreciate that dress codes exist for several reasons to my mind the most important of these of to stop the vanilla voyeurs.

As an artist you should have some imagination, you don't have to spend hundreds of quid to put together an outfit that will be acceptable to the club's dress code, be comfortable for you to wear and most importantly it will be unique to you - which is always one in the eye for those with more money than imagination.

You'll find people out of their faces at most clubs you'll go to fetish or otherwise, i don't really condome it but like you'll probably find that most people will avoid the worst of them.

I haven't done a lot of clubbing in London but what I have been to is not at all indicative of clubs further north if you can make it up both Lash in Manchester and Violate in Glasgow are two of the most relaxed and groovy clubs I've ever been to. My advice would be to check out reviews online.

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Re: Re: Re: Re: I hate clubs!#15

I hate it too


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Re: Re: Re: I hate clubs!#5

If you dont like the clubs because of the fetish dress requirements and the ened to dress up to conform ........ why not look for events such as munches and fetish fairs. These might attract the people you are looking for without all of the trimmings !

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Re: I hate clubs!#6

Hiya - I am adventurous - but want to be so within a caring respectfull environment.Giving pleasure and receiving it is more important than looking good on the *scene*

There are people like you but most I find are married to dull partners and want external excitement.
I'd love to combine a caring monogamous relationship with a fun adventurous lover.

P.s - I am an artist too lol

J xx


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Re: Re: I hate clubs!#7

Maybe we have an answer to your problem ! We run a guest house in a beautiful rural location in SW England. In the past we have seen 'underground' accommodation advertised and have been quite disappointed at the rip off prices and clinical nature of these venues. I suggest to you, and any other interested parties, that you get together and book a weekend with us. We have a large secluded house with woodland [fun] and can accommodate up to ten people in three double rooms, a twin and two singles.
We are an open minded couple, not swingers and definately non judgemental. All we would ask is that guests show us respect and keep their activities within the house during daylight hours. They would also need to bring their own props, equipment and most of all ideas !
In return we offer an ideal location, the utmost discretion and fantastic food and hospitality.
Unfortunately we are only in a position to offer this to people that organise their own group, but hey ! it can't be that difficult. I suggest that you post invitations to contact you, and having sifted through the replies, organise a weekend here.

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Re: Re: Re: I hate clubs!#8

I have just read through my posting and realised that it could be mistaken for veiled advertising. Of course we are in the accommodation business, but I have to say that this posting is more about getting more interesting guests than making more money. We are not short of straight tourists !
We apologise if our posting has caused offence to the administrators.

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Re: Re: I hate clubs!#10

hey spotty (jan) - hows tricks hun (she's one hot babe fellas!!)

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Re: I hate clubs!#9

Sounds to me like you are a very boring person ondeed.

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