Like all good stories, this one starts in the middle. To be precise, it starts at 7 a.m. on a cold Saturday morning in January in this home. My wife was getting ready to go to work (she was working Saturday overtime partly to pay for spending on fetish clothing during the previous month) and I had hoped to have a nice lie-in. However, the forces of exploding porridge and shattering glass were to prevent my plans from coming true.
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